The Spiritual Development of Children

What a scary-sounding title! In reality, a child learns to love God in much the same way they learn to love their parents. A tiny child will say he or she loves Mummy and Daddy because they have been told they do – and they get good feelings and cuddles when they use ‘love language.’ Building a relationship with God follows a similar pattern of familiarity and positive experiences.

As your child grows, so will their understanding of their faith. Children will often pick up things in the world around them that you as an adult don’t notice. Don’t be surprised if your child comes home one day and asks you a question about faith that you don’t know how to answer, or that is totally unrelated to what you have taught them. Children are naturally inquisitive and soak up information. When your child arrives home with a difficult question, take the time to find the answer with them or suggest they ask your priest. You may not always be able to give the answers, but you can equip your child with the tools they need to ask questions and search for answers themselves. As they do this, your child will develop their own spirituality and relationship with God.

Praying with your child as they grow up can take the same basic format that you used when they were younger. Why not encourage them to lead the prayers, expand topics prayed for to include world events. Prayers at the end of the day are a wonderful way to spend time together as a family, give thanks for all that has happened throughout the day and pray for help in anything that is not right.

How to pray: Routine helps

Children respond very positively to routine. Whatever routine you develop, make a space for prayer time. This is often a cuddle time: part of reading stories and reviewing the events of the day, maybe after a bath. Your child will value the chance to review the events of their day in a safe and positive routine. Anything that has been important to you and your child is important to God.

Your prayer time might sound something like: “Shall we tell God about how Sarah fell off her bike yesterday?” or “Johnny’s granddad is in hospital Lord, please look after him and help him to get better really soon” or “When I got angry this afternoon I hurt Mum’s feelings without meaning to. God, please help me to feel better.”

Including God in the day-to-day events and experiences of a child’s life ensures that their life is God-centred. It is not an opportunity for emotional blackmail of the “God please make Janie stop being so naughty” variety; praying together is a positive and healing experience – your own struggles, anger or frustration are not your child’s problem. It is, however, amazing how perceptive a child is, and many parents have been reduced to tears when their very young child prays for their parents with devastating accuracy and insight!

Remember – prayer is about love; love of God, love of your child, love of yourself as the best parent your child could possibly have. So – pray regularly, pray honestly, pray positively and “in everything give thanks.”

Recommended Books

The Spiritual Growth of Children - John Trent (ed)
Passing on a heritage of faith to children is an incredible privilege God gives to parents. And now there's a tool to help make it easy! Inside the Parents' Guide to the Spiritual Growth of Children, you'll find dozens of simple, practical ways to not only tell your children what you believe, but to show them how to make faith in God part of everyday life.

Spiritual Milestones - Jim & Janet Weidmann
You and your family can embark on this incredible journey - a journey that marks seven of the significant spiritual passages your child will experience during his or her most impressionable years. This comprehensive and practical guide for parents will help you develop a personal and intentional plan for celebrating each of the spiritual markers.

Teaching Your Child How to Pray - Rick Osborne
Ignite your child's heart to pray with the practical suggestions in this book by Rick Osborne. It offers great suggestions on how to teach prayer to your kids in a way they can understand and inspires parents to become prayer mentors for their children. It's a great way to pass on your faith to your family!

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